Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
