Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
