My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Randomize
