let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Randomize
