Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Randomize
