I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize
