sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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