im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
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