I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
it hurts more in the daytime
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
