He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
Randomize