The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
