Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
