last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Randomize
