she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
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