Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
