If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Randomize
