Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
