She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize
