I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
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