WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
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