its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
