can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦🏼♀️
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