If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize
