the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
