I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
