apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
false alarm. still invincible.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Randomize