you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
