This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
