You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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