I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Well I just put wine in my tea
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize
