Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
This beer is not sobering me up at all
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
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