and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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