i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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