if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
