Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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