i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
