maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Randomize
