if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
