If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
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I queefed so loud it echoed.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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