I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
