So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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