Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
