real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
