I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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