So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
