i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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