I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Randomize
