In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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