he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
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I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
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Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
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