I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Randomize
