I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
My vagina just recognized that song.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Randomize
