me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
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