Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Randomize
