1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
look no pants
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Randomize
