i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
her vagine was all disorganized.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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