Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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