You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
