I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Randomize
