You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
