To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
