haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
