Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize