i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
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