I think my fart just growled at me.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Randomize
